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Teaching our children to obey reasonable standards is a very important part of genuine parental love. If parents neglect this role, their children can grow up to be defenseless casualties of "feel good" and deceptive promises of a godless world. "A child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame" (Proverbs 29:15b).
The following are three examples of emotional immaturity in parents that can cause them to fail:
- The attitude that "this is my child, and I have a right to pamper my child" displays a self-indulgence that has blinded parents to the destructive influence of permissiveness, which will eventually haunt the life of a self-willed child.
- Many parents do not recognize that the issue between them and the child is, in fact, emotions. Successful parenting is a direct confrontation between (1) the will of parents who should be emotionally mature and (2) the immature but determined will of the child. Wise parents know that God's Word has the answers to life, and that they must exercise control at times over their child's choices. When parents fail in this area, their child will not learn to make solid choices apart from his or her feelings.
- C. Parents may foster rebellion by pampering their child because they fear that the child will not love them. Instead of earning their child's love, however, they usually face the opposite. Parents almost always lose their child's respect when they do not exercise authority with clarity.
There is no substitute for the exercise of parental authority! Having a dating policy for teens, for example, is a must! See the chapter on parenting in Lasting Success for key elements of love that children understand.
'And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up" (Deuteronomy 6:6-7).
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